The Hang Send index closed higher today on news that PCCW chairman Richard Li Tzar-kai is a college dropout. Spurred on by reassurances that Mr. Li is not a bad businessman, just simply stupid, investors returned to the market, which was sharply down for the week. e-Lucky Finance Net E2E analyst Ignoramus Chow explained the rational of the investors behind the rally. "For years people have been concerned that 'the smartest man in Hong Kong' might be lacking some basic business sense. Everyone knew he was a technological genius, but many of his recent business ventures seemed downright stupid. This caused a lot of uncertainty and unnecessary pessimism in the market. With the truth about his education now coming to light its clear that he's just a dumb ass loser coasting on daddy's name and money. It gives investors a lot of confidence to know that they've been right about their hunch all along"
Li Ka Sing will hold a press conference tomorrow to announce that Stanford university has been acquired by Cheung Kong Holdings and will be issuing Richard a retro-active degree in computer engineering and being a smart guy.