Feeling left out because you didn't get the "I Love You" bug?
You're not alone. Millions of pathetic friendless geeks missed out on this viral opportunity simply because no one wants to communicate with them...Not even a virus.
This simply isn't fair. I believe that everyone, even complete losers, have a constitutionally guaranteed right to share in this massively over-hyped viral experience.


I have founded the NAAGP (National Association for Advancement of Geeky People) to help fight this kind of heinous discrimination.


OUR MISSION:
To proactively facilitate the transparent spread of scalable user-centric viruses within the e-geek community by virally empowering the socially impaired through the synergistic deployment of a morphing macro-trojan via a next-generation vertical B2G portal (Business to Geek)


THE RESULT:
The "Nobody Loves You" bug, the most powerful non-nuclear virus known to man.


When received it will:


1. Forward itself to all your friends in the Glee Club and/or Chess Club
2. Attach itself to your 8-track ABBA collection
3. Install "Are you experienced" by Hendrix as your login sound
4. Cancel your daddys AOL subscription
5. E-mail your mother with the location of your hidden lingerie catalogues
6. Give you a nugie
7. Play "Galaxy Quest" over and over until you realise it is making fun of YOU
8. Use the same utensil for Mustard and Mayonnaise
9. Leave the mustard contaminated Mayonnaise out in the sun
10. Shout "IT" every time someone say "Shhhhh"
11. Make you permanently visible on ICQ
12. Cancel all future Hanson concerts